Life as I know it is officially over..

Yes, its finally happened.
I asked for the following things on my Christmas pressie list:
Socks
Slippers
Pyjamas
Kettle
Toaster
A nice set of knives
And a decent set of pots and pans
WHERE DID MY LIFE GO??!!
I remember as a wee pup being so confused as to why my beautiful cousin Jackie always asked for THEE most boring presents like a new dressing gown or a vase. BUT, now I have reached that stage where I finally understand her.
APOCALYPSE IMMINENT!!!
SO maybe the Mayans were right. Life as I know it is over.
No more racing through the argos catalogue to form a list of epic proportions, long gone are the days of purely fun presents that had little or no use whatsoever.
I want nice KNIVES!
I find myself salivating over a full on block set that matches all the other objects in my kitchen.
I used to go out almost every night in the week dancing at clubs, going on adventures, never stopping and when I wasn’t out on the town I was at dancing or cheerleading practice or jamming in pubs on my saxophone. I’ve danced on telly, met so many actors, bands and legends it always sounds like I’m just name dropping. I’ve travelled around the world, even stopped off in San Diego for only a few days just to go to a Labyrinth themed masquerade ball! And of course popped to mexico at 11am to drink cocktails, haggle with market traders and observe american kids immediately regretting taking the tequila shot challenge.
What do I do now?
I FANTASISE ABOUT MATCHING APPLIANCES!
And don’t get me started on how I would feel if I got a dishwasher.. or a washing machine that isn’t based on some kind of dare.
Some of you knew me, remember me or kindly refer to me as…
Sharon the dancer, Sharon the wannabe model, Sharon the musician, Sharon the scene girl, Sharon the nutter….
However I have a new name for myself based on overwhelming evidence to contradict the afore mentioned labels and titles.
Sharon the new uncool.
You’ll find me in your local electrical store weeping at the beauty of electric can openers.

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By shazkira

3 comments on “Life as I know it is officially over..

  1. Loved it, Sharon. Very funny. And I know exactly where you’re coming from. I sent off for a new filter for the hoover last week. Said it’ll come in three to four working days. And I can’t bloody wait šŸ™‚

  2. Oh man! It’s always nice to find a kindred spirit. Where did life go? Where is the taxi waiting to take me from the Lion to Hollywods via my house so I can take the suit off and put some tassels on? I’ll tell you where, right by your electric can open aisle…
    Top blog Miss Regan.
    PS: Zwilling Henckels are the bollocks…

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