I’m starting to feel inadequate with an increasing number of aspects in my life. I thought the penis enlargement emails were bad enough as it felt as though I was being mocked for my tiny, non-existent genitalia.
But it gets worse. Every day as I scroll down the Facebook news feed it feels like I’m having the girth of another appendage mocked. My very average sized finger accidentally hits a ‘suggested’ or ‘sponsored’ link and suddenly I’m whisked away to a web page filled with information I don’t want or need.
And the mocking continues when I try to send a text to a friend. Instead of something comprehensible my digits create a message filled with gobbledegook or slight innuendo and of course this is all due to the inadequacy of my NORMAL SIZED FINGER TIPS!
When my old company was becoming insolvent and it wasn’t clear if I would lose my job I text my big boss to state “I just need to know”. But my pesky predictive text and allegedly fat fingers had other ideas and instead the message came out as “I just need sex”. Well you all know I didn’t want to lose my job but I wouldn’t have tried to keep it by doing that!
To summarise, it makes me realise that technology is, in equal measures, my enemy and my friend.
They call it a smart phone yet all it does is make me feel stupid : (